Some people just aren't people persons...or is it persons people? Whichever it is...I have begun to find myself in that category. This isn't an isolation issue, though, and far from it. I like social events, and have plenty of friends. I enjoy being with my family sometimes. The difference between me and some people is that some people can just small-talk and carry on like there's no tomorrow. This is not a bad thing...and it is how the world works sometimes. You have to be friendly, and we all have to get along. However, be assured that if I'm carrying on a significant conversation with you, I'm usually not rehashing a mundane process. You must be pleasant to talk to, or I'd be plotting ways to ease out of the situation from the moment you spoke the first word. A lot of conversations I get into are the result of someone else trying to break the "uncomfortable silence." I don't have uncomfortable silences, I have pleasant ones. People don't need to fill the air with pointless "this is me being polite to you" drivel. My small-talk is fast, to the point, and ties up all loose ends. If I don't want to talk to you, I won't leave any open-ended opportunities for you to carry on. It's "Hello, nice day, goodbye" for me. Get it?
"A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. you're a moron. They have nothing to say, you know?" -Billie Joe Armstrong
I don't want to to be the grumpy gremlin here, but there are some people that just can't take a hint... you know? (The hint being my monosyllabic answers and for some reason, staring at a book as if I'm reading it.) I'm not angry, I just feel like this is an issue that isn't brought up often enough! At the expense of sounding like a party pooper, these points have to be made. Some people are just to damn friendly! There is a time and a place for everything. If I'm obviously engrossed in a People magazine at the dentist's office, it is in that state that I want to remain. Here's something fun to do when you're reading a book or a sign and someone beside you wants to get "friendly." When they say "Sooo....the Sooners blahblahblah," make a little jumpy reaction, but just barely. However, keep your eyes focused on what they're already on. It has to look like you were "doing perfectly fine, thank you" until that person rudely startled you. Next, kind of look around really fast (one or two seconds) before meeting eyes with them...as if saying "I know I heard something somewhere because it totally ruined what I was focused on...oh it was you." This works really well if you are wearing headphones, because while doing all this you can lift one side up or take them off slowly. This makes it look like you are oblivious to the outside world and are being inconvenienced all to hell by this person's "arrogance." Then, you can kind of almost act like you were sleeping or something. Come out with a Whaaa...? kind of expression. Then "come to awareness of what's going on" by saying, "I'm sorry?" This is better than saying "hmm" or "what" because it puts distance between you and the "offender." With the right tone, it makes it sound like you are purely responding with a "can I help you" and "I have no intention of engaging in small talk" disposition. Yeah, this all happens in like five seconds. Finally, top it all off with a polite response to what ever their question or statement was. This is done to show that you're not a straight-up jerk, and really were taken off guard. Give the information that is required or requested by the person, but nothing more. This shows that you're willing to communicate, but shuts down the whole small-talk routine before it starts.
Keep in mind that although it can be fun and effective to do this with people, it is only to send out an "I'm doing just fine here by myself" vibe. It is not done to be rude. There is no justifiable reason to be a jerk to everyone. This should only be used (in my opinion) when you really don't feel like talking and you don't have what it takes to fake a conversation. Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Child Genius, Jeremy
Ok. This is really funny, I think. These essays have been going around the internet for I don’t know how long now. There are plenty of places to see them, but I just had to join in by posting them here. Nothing is known about the kid, aside from his genius contributions to the literary world. This kid should be a politician! Seriously, I can remember doing stuff like this back in school. We would be given a homework assignment; and the topic would be worthless, unchallenging, or I was just not interested. The idea was to make some kind of elaborate mockery of the assignment. The funny thing here is that these brilliantly written essays go around in circles without saying much of anything; and at the same time end up being hilariously entertaining! I haven’t laughed this hard in months! There are two essays, both having to do with weather. Some of the more enthralling phrases and words are highlighted. The teacher’s response (not shown here) was “Jeremy, please…at little less drama!" Haha… way to go Jeremy!
Coming in like El Niño
El Niño is spanish. It is the spanish word for child. Like all things spanish, it is dangerous. It kills people and burns down trees. This child is more than a child. It really isn't a child at all. It is a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees.
Warm water usually builds up around australia to somewhre else, namely to other places. Where are these places? These are places that also have water, but water that is usually not as warm water El Niño moves to these said other places. These other places are to the east. Of the water.
In Peru, they have many names for many things. One of the things they have names for is for people who go fishing, go fishing to make a living. If we had a word for this kind of people that word would be "fisherman". But we don't. In Peru, they have different names for things than we do in America. They call that kind of people "pescadores". That's Spanish. That's what they speak in Peru. When El Niño comes, these "pescadores" can't catch any fish. El Niño is caused when the Peruvian gods get angry. They have been angry for millions of years and have made El Niño for millions of years. Many many moons ago, the Peruvians committed human sacrifice to satiate their gods and end the flood that was caused by El Niño. In today's modern dog-eat-dog work-a-day world of scientists, diplomats, McSalad Shakers, and George Bush Jr., we no longer have access to such solutions. We are too proud. We will not commit human sacrifices. We refuse to satiate the Peruvian gods. Thus, they remain angry and keep killing us and burning down our trees with El Niño.
Instead of satiating the gods, many of these "scientists" have tried to control El Niño with "science". They put up expensive fish-attracting-bueys that run on flashlight batteries. Imagine, fighting the power of the gods with flashlight batteries! Needless to say, this didn't work and everyone died.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0MUEaZ5EzdpS7EL8-mX5FHY8TKUvZ92us2J7HPmFwZc9K-iT6ZL8c78AtoiDyFJEBW3SX1nRGzXVLxJvJ8t8Egw7Q1Ko5TwSADSd3p-Rpv-GXsaSGtm191ZUhq_zPsFz7I8Liukic03_c/s1600-h/el_nino_report.gif
Coming up next, after briefing us on tropical storms and their destructive behavior, Jeremy analyzes lightning! Keep in mind lightning's destructive behavior and this time, trees are knocked down rather than burned down:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XpWPHm8ojxXmkDbfYKipw7J8Wyi7eVH1NM-CqbCYjfNkK-gKWKy4wnTueSfqCMCJAzQ8xCwLGHiPdqb-MPZ41UB7JDqNzYjlD30AVSobag4IGdfaryg3_SJgprMNayZ0suq9swvh-2Ts/s1600-h/lightning-essay-1.gif
Both of these essays received unfair marks of 10 out of 100. Really? I thought it was genius!
Coming in like El Niño
El Niño is spanish. It is the spanish word for child. Like all things spanish, it is dangerous. It kills people and burns down trees. This child is more than a child. It really isn't a child at all. It is a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees.
Warm water usually builds up around australia to somewhre else, namely to other places. Where are these places? These are places that also have water, but water that is usually not as warm water El Niño moves to these said other places. These other places are to the east. Of the water.
In Peru, they have many names for many things. One of the things they have names for is for people who go fishing, go fishing to make a living. If we had a word for this kind of people that word would be "fisherman". But we don't. In Peru, they have different names for things than we do in America. They call that kind of people "pescadores". That's Spanish. That's what they speak in Peru. When El Niño comes, these "pescadores" can't catch any fish. El Niño is caused when the Peruvian gods get angry. They have been angry for millions of years and have made El Niño for millions of years. Many many moons ago, the Peruvians committed human sacrifice to satiate their gods and end the flood that was caused by El Niño. In today's modern dog-eat-dog work-a-day world of scientists, diplomats, McSalad Shakers, and George Bush Jr., we no longer have access to such solutions. We are too proud. We will not commit human sacrifices. We refuse to satiate the Peruvian gods. Thus, they remain angry and keep killing us and burning down our trees with El Niño.
Instead of satiating the gods, many of these "scientists" have tried to control El Niño with "science". They put up expensive fish-attracting-bueys that run on flashlight batteries. Imagine, fighting the power of the gods with flashlight batteries! Needless to say, this didn't work and everyone died.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0MUEaZ5EzdpS7EL8-mX5FHY8TKUvZ92us2J7HPmFwZc9K-iT6ZL8c78AtoiDyFJEBW3SX1nRGzXVLxJvJ8t8Egw7Q1Ko5TwSADSd3p-Rpv-GXsaSGtm191ZUhq_zPsFz7I8Liukic03_c/s1600-h/el_nino_report.gif
Coming up next, after briefing us on tropical storms and their destructive behavior, Jeremy analyzes lightning! Keep in mind lightning's destructive behavior and this time, trees are knocked down rather than burned down:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_TIs0TzZhZnDr2CSL2NJ1SeqI5cuBTdv9KBbeaivLbBr4ZFUQUseVcAJNeAfFTx7Qk1olTPELgwM_tb__o6AnlpvvN6MV6xW1BvVjGGHHhqdZAqhxhniZm4WlvjReAABd2b529goD4iF/s1600-h/lightning-essay.gifLightning!!!
What is lightning? Where does it come from? What does it mean? Does it have a meaning? Where does it come from? What is it made of? Is it made of light? Some might say it was made of light.Others contend that lightning is made of fire. that killed people and knocked down trees. Before Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Frankling was a founding father. He fatherly founded that lightning is made of electricity. Electricity in the sky.
But what of the Greek myths, of the Greek god Zeus and of the popular image of Zeus - a Greek God - throwing down lightning bolts to kill people and knock down trees. Where did he find the time?
And what of lightning being made of fire? In this workaday world inthe era of founding father Benjamin Franklin we have nor patience for such concerns. These are for the third world and schizophrenics.
Some people do not understand that lightning is destructive. Theyignore the wisdom of their elders and of the founding father Benjamin Franklin. They think lightning is a lie perpetrated by people with a vested interest. At their own peril!!! Lightning kills people and knocks down trees!!! It a power of destruction exercised by the Greek god Zeus, the mightiest of Greek gods!! But they do it: they ignore such wisdom and taunt the powerful exercise of destruction and they worship their idle gods and stand near trees. At their own peril!! Lightning has the killing power to kill people and the destructive power to knock down trees! When you stand near trees, they will be knocked down by lightning and you will be killed by lightning! There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the tree and knock down your soul. Trees are tall.
Many things are tall. Many things attract lightning. But do the two correlate? A recent study says yes. It says that being tall and attracting lighting do correlate. That means that being tall corellates with being struck by lightning. You die when you are stuck by lightning, and your tree is knocked down.
Some people try to measure lightning, they take measurements of it. They use balloons and rockets and their imagination and determination and research money and they put it all in the mixing bowl and they mix storms - storms with lightning - and so they mix in the lightning and then they get the product if they're lucky of measurements about lightning from the storm? What kind of measurements? We may never know ...
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1XpWPHm8ojxXmkDbfYKipw7J8Wyi7eVH1NM-CqbCYjfNkK-gKWKy4wnTueSfqCMCJAzQ8xCwLGHiPdqb-MPZ41UB7JDqNzYjlD30AVSobag4IGdfaryg3_SJgprMNayZ0suq9swvh-2Ts/s1600-h/lightning-essay-1.gif
Both of these essays received unfair marks of 10 out of 100. Really? I thought it was genius!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Know It All
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot on the internet about bands because I like to read about them while I listen to them. It’s kind of like milk and cookies. It chocolates the experience. Actually, I've been spending time reading about music and bands online since I was about thirteen, so that makes around fourteen years now. There is a whole new generation of little punk kids out there, still bitching at each other about whether a band is a sellout or not when they move to a major label and blah de blah. So after reading all this know-it-all scene crap well into the next generation, and realizing what a dork I was being when I was 15, I can't help but feel embarassed that it could have been me years ago. How do they know all this banter? How did I know it when I was a kid…why don’t people my age talk about it? Was there a time when talking the politics of punk/indie rock was cool? Was it cool when I was 15?. Did I act like a teen-aged music expert? Most of the rants and raves I read miss the mark, but I found this one; which says it all pretty well. Anyway, Mikey (we’ll call him Mikey) says this about the band AFI:
“Just because a band changes their music because it will help sales doesnt mean s***!, there are no morals in the world or in punk rock, the world is s***, so why wouldnt someone say yes to making a sucessful career choice.Not everyone wants to be a poor punk band, that has punk music. The CD isn't bad, if you like AFI you should be able to accept changes. So find abother band and stop bitching about AFI.”
This kid basically said it. I mean, it's a step in the right direction. It’s no Harvard speech…and a rediculous amount of four-letter words defeats its own purpose, and it's pretty brief; but that’s basically it right there. Pretty spot-on for a younger kid. (I know he was a kid because he said other things in the post about "high school" which I omitted). Here's what someone had to say about Incubus; which is one of the greatest most talented and underrated bands of all time I might add:
"First off about the whole thing with Incubus selling out I have to say I disagree. They've been a band for a long time and they've grown and evolved a lot, and their music reflects that. I mean, I love their old stuff just as much as the newer stuff. Look at the Red Hot Chili Peppers, they've been a band forever and they've changed a lot yet they still know how to rock. Just because they're not doing funk or heavy rock doesn't mean they're sellouts."
And what Brandon Boyd (lead singer) has to say about it:
"We've only ever made the albums we wanted to make, and we've only ever done the gigs we wanted to do. So if that's the case, I feel like we've been a band for 16 years and we've not sold out yet."
When you grow up and realize you have to make a living in the world, you have to actually make money with your music if you’re going to play it all the time. Or you can be poor your whole life and “stay true to punk,” or whatever. All in all, once kids learn about earning a living and paying your own way in the world, things aren't all songs and candy bars. I mean, it could have been said more meticulously…but compare it to the likes of this:
“IM a f***ing old school afi fan back when i was the only one at my school listining to them then when i heard that they sold out i was pissed all these all thes f***ing newby fans are making me go insane for **** sake all they know is fuking art of drowning on up but im not going to be a f***ing emo bitch and be like i dont like them since they sold out im still a true fan and i will always be this guys story was f***ing good but when it comes down to it old afi is and will always be better then jade or hunter can acomplish but i still love both opld and new AFI”
WTF? The bad thing about the internet is that once you finally grow up and realize all the dumb shit you said (when you didn’t know what the hell you were talking about)…It’s tattooed on the world’s biggest toilet. This kind of talk is rampant and goes on all the time. Face the facts. You're not your used-to-be favorite band's best critic. People are idiots. Do people talk like this when a college basketball player moves on to the NBA?
Okay, another test run on this blog thing, but I think I'm getting somewhere....the point is that with few exceptions, anyone under the age of 21 has no place talking s*** on bands for changing. Right?
“Just because a band changes their music because it will help sales doesnt mean s***!, there are no morals in the world or in punk rock, the world is s***, so why wouldnt someone say yes to making a sucessful career choice.Not everyone wants to be a poor punk band, that has punk music. The CD isn't bad, if you like AFI you should be able to accept changes. So find abother band and stop bitching about AFI.”
This kid basically said it. I mean, it's a step in the right direction. It’s no Harvard speech…and a rediculous amount of four-letter words defeats its own purpose, and it's pretty brief; but that’s basically it right there. Pretty spot-on for a younger kid. (I know he was a kid because he said other things in the post about "high school" which I omitted). Here's what someone had to say about Incubus; which is one of the greatest most talented and underrated bands of all time I might add:
"First off about the whole thing with Incubus selling out I have to say I disagree. They've been a band for a long time and they've grown and evolved a lot, and their music reflects that. I mean, I love their old stuff just as much as the newer stuff. Look at the Red Hot Chili Peppers, they've been a band forever and they've changed a lot yet they still know how to rock. Just because they're not doing funk or heavy rock doesn't mean they're sellouts."
And what Brandon Boyd (lead singer) has to say about it:
"We've only ever made the albums we wanted to make, and we've only ever done the gigs we wanted to do. So if that's the case, I feel like we've been a band for 16 years and we've not sold out yet."
When you grow up and realize you have to make a living in the world, you have to actually make money with your music if you’re going to play it all the time. Or you can be poor your whole life and “stay true to punk,” or whatever. All in all, once kids learn about earning a living and paying your own way in the world, things aren't all songs and candy bars. I mean, it could have been said more meticulously…but compare it to the likes of this:
“IM a f***ing old school afi fan back when i was the only one at my school listining to them then when i heard that they sold out i was pissed all these all thes f***ing newby fans are making me go insane for **** sake all they know is fuking art of drowning on up but im not going to be a f***ing emo bitch and be like i dont like them since they sold out im still a true fan and i will always be this guys story was f***ing good but when it comes down to it old afi is and will always be better then jade or hunter can acomplish but i still love both opld and new AFI”
WTF? The bad thing about the internet is that once you finally grow up and realize all the dumb shit you said (when you didn’t know what the hell you were talking about)…It’s tattooed on the world’s biggest toilet. This kind of talk is rampant and goes on all the time. Face the facts. You're not your used-to-be favorite band's best critic. People are idiots. Do people talk like this when a college basketball player moves on to the NBA?
Okay, another test run on this blog thing, but I think I'm getting somewhere....the point is that with few exceptions, anyone under the age of 21 has no place talking s*** on bands for changing. Right?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
I’ve never been much of a blogger. Actually, I’ve never been a blogger at all! I was talking to myself the other night and suggested to myself that it would be cool to start a blog. After all, I am always writing down ideas, random thoughts, and sometimes stories. Why not let someone else see them. So I can’t make any promises on how frequent updates will be, or what topics I will talk about. I’ll just have to see how all this develops and go on from there. Vague, I know.
So the other night I was writing in my notebook and I had some ideas for a children’s story. I don’t have a storyline, but I have some dialogue that would sound good in a children’s story I think. You know how they’re always using alliteration and lively description to (try to anyway) keep your attention. So, this is kind of weird I know, but that’s how I am. Here we go…this is what I wrote. It's supposed to be funny:
So the other night I was writing in my notebook and I had some ideas for a children’s story. I don’t have a storyline, but I have some dialogue that would sound good in a children’s story I think. You know how they’re always using alliteration and lively description to (try to anyway) keep your attention. So, this is kind of weird I know, but that’s how I am. Here we go…this is what I wrote. It's supposed to be funny:
"I should write Children’s books. They’d go kind of like this: (excerpt)
Jimmy took the cotton-balls out of his ears and proceeded to skip down the hallway. “Wheeee!” cried Jimmy as he smiled with Glee. His playmate, Aaron was waiting for him at the bottom of the big brown stairs. “Off we go to the fire station!” exclaimed Aaron, who had put on his big red boots for the occasion. “And a’ top o’ the big red truck!” replied Jimmy. “Grab a hose!” who could that be?
It was Mikey from up the street! He had brought along his bigger brother’s boots…and a smock…red for the occasion!
Jimmy was kinda screwed. He hadn’t brought boots, bottoms, or a belt."......
And so on.
I know this is lame. If I get anyone reading all this I'll try for some relevant topics...and getting deeper than a sheet of paper...and don't worry, I'm not really going to try to get THIS published as a children's book!
(TEST RUN)
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