Some people just aren't people persons...or is it persons people? Whichever it is...I have begun to find myself in that category. This isn't an isolation issue, though, and far from it. I like social events, and have plenty of friends. I enjoy being with my family sometimes. The difference between me and some people is that some people can just small-talk and carry on like there's no tomorrow. This is not a bad thing...and it is how the world works sometimes. You have to be friendly, and we all have to get along. However, be assured that if I'm carrying on a significant conversation with you, I'm usually not rehashing a mundane process. You must be pleasant to talk to, or I'd be plotting ways to ease out of the situation from the moment you spoke the first word. A lot of conversations I get into are the result of someone else trying to break the "uncomfortable silence." I don't have uncomfortable silences, I have pleasant ones. People don't need to fill the air with pointless "this is me being polite to you" drivel. My small-talk is fast, to the point, and ties up all loose ends. If I don't want to talk to you, I won't leave any open-ended opportunities for you to carry on. It's "Hello, nice day, goodbye" for me. Get it?
"A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. you're a moron. They have nothing to say, you know?" -Billie Joe Armstrong
I don't want to to be the grumpy gremlin here, but there are some people that just can't take a hint... you know? (The hint being my monosyllabic answers and for some reason, staring at a book as if I'm reading it.) I'm not angry, I just feel like this is an issue that isn't brought up often enough! At the expense of sounding like a party pooper, these points have to be made. Some people are just to damn friendly! There is a time and a place for everything. If I'm obviously engrossed in a People magazine at the dentist's office, it is in that state that I want to remain. Here's something fun to do when you're reading a book or a sign and someone beside you wants to get "friendly." When they say "Sooo....the Sooners blahblahblah," make a little jumpy reaction, but just barely. However, keep your eyes focused on what they're already on. It has to look like you were "doing perfectly fine, thank you" until that person rudely startled you. Next, kind of look around really fast (one or two seconds) before meeting eyes with them...as if saying "I know I heard something somewhere because it totally ruined what I was focused on...oh it was you." This works really well if you are wearing headphones, because while doing all this you can lift one side up or take them off slowly. This makes it look like you are oblivious to the outside world and are being inconvenienced all to hell by this person's "arrogance." Then, you can kind of almost act like you were sleeping or something. Come out with a Whaaa...? kind of expression. Then "come to awareness of what's going on" by saying, "I'm sorry?" This is better than saying "hmm" or "what" because it puts distance between you and the "offender." With the right tone, it makes it sound like you are purely responding with a "can I help you" and "I have no intention of engaging in small talk" disposition. Yeah, this all happens in like five seconds. Finally, top it all off with a polite response to what ever their question or statement was. This is done to show that you're not a straight-up jerk, and really were taken off guard. Give the information that is required or requested by the person, but nothing more. This shows that you're willing to communicate, but shuts down the whole small-talk routine before it starts.
Keep in mind that although it can be fun and effective to do this with people, it is only to send out an "I'm doing just fine here by myself" vibe. It is not done to be rude. There is no justifiable reason to be a jerk to everyone. This should only be used (in my opinion) when you really don't feel like talking and you don't have what it takes to fake a conversation. Thanks for reading!
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